i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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