So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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