So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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