I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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