I could make wine with my vomit
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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