I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
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his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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