Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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