He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize