Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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