He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize