All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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