Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy

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  (818): I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy http://tfl.nu/zo8r
  Replies (5) Good night (698) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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  (617): i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine http://tfl.nu/ryw8
  Replies (33) Good night (673) Bad night (3393) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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  (806): I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes. (512): Did it? (806): Not as such, no. http://tfl.nu/c480
  Replies (37) Good night (473) Bad night (4440)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"

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  (720): haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya" http://tfl.nu/5qox
  Replies (30) Good night (6376) Bad night (1577) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Come see our sink grown plant.

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  (480): Come see our sink grown plant. http://tfl.nu/3v5r
  Replies (25) Good night (4217) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.

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  (617): After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left. http://tfl.nu/2zbc
  Replies (1) Good night (5030) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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  (207): he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead http://tfl.nu/s4ov
  Replies (7) Good night (3106) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.

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  (610): The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/sorz
  Replies (3) Good night (3382) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom

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  (831): please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom http://tfl.nu/23l0
  Replies (10) Good night (4987) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex

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  (985): Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex http://tfl.nu/n4wf
  Replies (4) Good night (1426) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.

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  (570): Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again. http://tfl.nu/7ky3
  Replies (8) Good night (1936) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

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  (214): And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/y3l1
  Replies (14) Good night (2017) Bad night (538)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

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  (843): I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today http://tfl.nu/bbq7
  Replies (12) Good night (2738) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

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  (360): Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try. http://tfl.nu/j8hc
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.

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  (214): I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rah7
  Replies (6) Good night (673) Bad night (290)

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