it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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