Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I met the friendliest cop last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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