i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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