If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize