i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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