you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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