I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize