Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
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He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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