I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize