the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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