I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is it penis luge time yet?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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