defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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