kristin has been a bad kristin
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize