She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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