Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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