i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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