Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize