In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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