found the other keg... it's in the tree
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize