Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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