You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize