The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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