Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
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I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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