Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
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That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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