This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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