Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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