i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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