I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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