You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize