Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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