Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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