this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
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He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
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drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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