Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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