overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize