He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
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