I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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