thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize