He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
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Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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